BANGARANG

(via theoutbound)

bakewithavengeance:

Also, my daughter is a turkey.

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE. my niece is little chunk of adorable…

im alive.

but that’s all i got. the rest has been drained from me.

im still alive, just stressed out. too stressed out to vent.

!             

   that’s all i have to say

For the longest time, about five years, i’ve considered “this” to be a transitional state. A place to rest, no rest is to permanent a word. A place to lean against while on my way back to Richmond. A place to be rid of and a state to cast aside AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Tonight, it hit me.

This is no transitional position. “This,” is my life. I May go back to Richmond. But i’m not missing it like i used to. I’m moving on. I’m building a home here. I hate it and it’s scary. And i still loathe this area. Northern Virginia is a concrete spaghetti bowl full of bitterness and meanies.

But it’s home. I have a good job. I have a place to live, and could potentially move on my own soonish. My neice is here. My family is here.

i am here. and i guess Richmond can wait.

but i have an alter ego. Her name is amy. She comes out when i’m intoxicated, dealing with overly touchy feely men, or ordering food at Panera Bread or anywhere else requiring a name.

amy likes whisky, breadbowls, and men she shouldn’t.

catch her when you can, she’s like a shadow. Constantly changing.

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink2(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

go spam yourself mf.

i don’t understand how you hop from one relationship to the next. And honestly, it kinda pisses me off. I’m not jealous of you all, but i do resent you. I feel like your breakup pain is fake, over dramatic, and honestly…not as real as mine. Essentially…shut up.

If you have a new boyfriend or girlfriend every time the sun sets then CLEARLY you must not have cared about your previous sig other (oh god i just wrote sig other) THAT much. You can’t cry over someone you were with for a hot two days. You don’t get that luxury.

I don’t date a lot. I barely ever date actually. My last relationship was 3 years ago, and he had to convince me to let him in. I did. I don’t regret it. Point is-i was legitimately in love. and 3 years later our break up is STILL hard. It STILL comes to mind often. I may be over him, but sometimes the rest lingers longer than the person it’s about.

so please, don’t come to me about the guy/girl you dated for 3 weeks and were SO in love with. Honestly, i don’t care and you’re “pain” doesn’t hold a candle to what can happen at the end of a REAL relationship.  Go call Dawson Macalester.

I’m such a bitch…oh well.

don’t ask me that question because i’ll lie and say, “nothing,” as the tears stream down my face and a plastic smile haunts my mouth. Unless you want truth, and if you do get ready. Cause the truth is that i know all the answers to the questions i have to ask you and still i need to hear them from you. The truth is that i have different feelings and opinions of our situation every day. The truth is that i am choking back gut wrenching sobs and tears are stinging my eyes because you just touched my back the way you used to.

The TRUTH is that i want the long haul. 

The LIE, well the lie is that i can do THIS for the long haul.

dear elmer’s,

help a sista out, cause i’m falling apart here.

i went out alone for a drink on the way home from work.

as i sat on the patio and sipped my gin and tonic i looked at my freshly painted toenails and thought to myself, “is this what grown up feels like?”

things are good. work is stressful and dramatic, but good. i’m not currently fighting with my family and i have an adorable new neice. I’m still living paycheck to paycheck, but that has potential to change, which is good.

overall, i’m happier than i have been in a long time. good.

so i guess the only thing left is you.

cause when i’m with you im happy, but then i remember. and things aren’t so good.

it’s almost august 16th.

and i wish with all my being that date meant nothing. but it does.

when it comes to you, things aren’t so good.

i’ve lost my voice and communication is all too confusing. still…i think you know.

things aren’t so good.

I have a new job.

I’m 2 weeks in.

I love the actual job i’m paid to do.

I work in an office.

APPARENTLY i didn’t get the memo that the “adults” i work with are incapable of conducting themselves in a grown up fashion.

How about if you have an issue with me, come to me so we can squash it?

Nope. I guess in THIS office you just come in an hour earlier than your start time so you can gossip with my supervisor and the WHOLE office staff about everything from how i did my job, which by the way was done TO THE LETTER per how i was trained, to the clothing i wear.

REALLY?

Well just so you know, things do, will, and are getting back to me.

Feel FREE to try and push me around because i’m new.

Just make NO mistake: I push back.

I have been looking for steady work with a pay rate i can live off of for, oh, about 3 years so you bet your ass i’m busting mine to do my best. I’m in no position to lose this job and have no intention of letting your mouths and the gossip they spew paint me or my work ethic in a bad light. I sit down every day at 3:23 and happily work. Not only do i happily work but i work hard. Very hard. For the past two weeks i have done my job as very best i can. I work the entire time i am on the clock and have even stayed late to help my coworkers. I don’t even get a break to pee until around 8:00, 4.5 hours after i clock in and sit down. So if the group of “adults” that i work with want to try and bully me and have conversations about ME with people who don’t WORK with me and have never even MET me, then i say go right ahead.

Like i said, make NO mistake: I push back.

Reston Radiology Consultants: MRI of Reston- BRING IT.

mikegarycole

Coco Chanel

ripped from my brother in law, this is my neice. born thursday night. she’s adorable, and sounds like an eagle when she screams. it’s epic.

ilovebabiesthataren’tmine!

bakewithavengeance:

Vengelet is here! Well, not technically HERE. Wifey had to have a C-Section, Thursday night so she’s stuck in the hospital until Sunday or Monday. I snuck home to shower, shave, change, comfort two sobbing kitties and throw a batch of pictures at Facebook. Vengelet, needless to say, is pretty cute. You can’t see it in this picture, but she has a whole mess of curly dark hair which she snagged from me. She’s been pretty good so far, but she can scream with the best of them. We’re all doing well, just anxious to start at home as a family. Hope you’re all doing well, and I am sure as I get more entangled into the grips of fatherhood I will post up tons of completely irrelevant pictures.

~Vengeance

i took myself out for drinks last night.

i sat alone for parts of the night.

i thought. i sipped. i people watched. i flirted. i smoked. i talked. i
laughed.




most of all i enjoyed my own company, for the first time.  ever.


i went out in a horrible mood and went alone cause i was the only person i
could think of that i wasn’t annoyed by.

i came home completely satisfied and happy.


 and i did it alone.

 yes, alone can be a healing.